


Dating Criteria

by Chash



Category: Teen Wolf (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 12:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Posey is the kind of guy who likes to talk about his sex life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dating Criteria

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the stop_drop_howl comm on LJ, for the prompt "you may be a sinner, but your innocence is mine."

Posey is the kind of guy who likes to talk about his sex life. Not quite boastfully, just like it's always on his mind, so it comes up naturally. They'll be having a normal conversation and then he'll just say, "Oh, yeah, I love Seattle, I once fucked this girl in the elevator at the Space Needle."

And Dylan can't deny he's curious about it. He's not the kind of guy who can just hook up; not because he doesn't want to, but because he doesn't really know how to. The idea of meeting someone in an elevator and managing to fuck them before the ride is over is just beyond him. Teen Wolf has helped, and apparently if he ever met a girl with a tumblr in an elevator, he'd be set, but still. He can't read people that fast, doesn't have the confidence to just go for it. So unlike Crystal, who rolls her eyes, and Holland, who pointedly puts in her earbuds, Dylan asks questions when Posey starts off on his sex life.

They're kind of drunk when Posey starts in on a girl he apparently slept with three whole times, so he asks, "Do you ever, like, date?" He's always wondered, but it felt kind of stupid to ask. There's a fine line between "being curious about his friend's love life" and "hoping his crush might one day want to marry him." And one of those makes him feel pathetic.

"I dunno," says Posey. "I don't not date. I just don't date."

"Dude," says Dylan. "That is a fine grammatical distinction I seriously cannot break down."

"There's no I don't date rule or whatever," he says, waving his hand. "Just doesn't really happen."

"So you _would_ date."

"Yeah," says Posey, shrugging. He takes another sip of beer and glances over at Dylan. "Why?"

"I dunno, I can't see how you get from, like, fucking a girl you met at a concert three times to having a relationship."

"I don't."

"Right, yeah. I mean, it's not like I do either, I just don't even fuck the girl from the concert first." He blows out a breath. "This is weird, right? I'm making this weird."

"Nah. You're jealous of my epic sex life. It's cool. I get that a lot."

"Do you ever do guys?" Dylan blurts out, and then stares at his beer, trying to figure out how to blame it. Where the hell did that come from? Well, desperation, stupidity, and horniness, obviously. But aside from that, it's totally the booze.

Posey raises his eyebrows. "Guys?"

"Uh, you know," he says. "I'd do guys."

"Are you coming out to me?"

"Not on purpose," says Dylan. "I should drink less. Or drink more."

"Dude, why are you stressing out?" asks Posey, after a long pause. He grins. "I've done a few guys, yeah. It's pretty good."

"Oh," he says, goofy grin spreading out over his face. "Really?"

"Yeah," says Posey, shrugging. "It's cool. Relax, man."

And Dylan does, ends up falling asleep and waking up feeling pretty good about his life. At least until Posey starts acting weird. 

Posey is never an asshole, but he starts being overly nice, getting Dylan's coffee in the morning, opening the door for him, bringing him snacks during filming breaks. And, even worse, he stops bringing up his sex life, always cutting himself off when he realizes Dylan is there, like he doesn't want to say anything about it in front of Dylan.

It takes him a week to figure it out, and when he finally does, he storms into Posey's trailer. "What the hell!"

"What?" asks Posey, glancing up from from the X-Box.

"What is wrong with you, you think I can't deal with you not liking me so you're being all nice and weird and--weird!" he says. "Come on, dude, you can still be you, I'll get over it."

"Uh," says Posey. "Again, what?"

Dylan shuts his mouth. "Nothing," he decides. "I was--I've been Stiles for too long today, man," he says. "Clearly I am losing it. I should--"

"I'm trying to date you," Posey says quickly. "I guess I suck at it? That's what you do when you date someone, right? Be nice, hold open doors, get shit, don't talk about exes," he says, counting off on his fingers like he has a list somewhere titled "How to Date Dylan O'Brien." Which would be stupid, because the list would have exactly one item, and it would be, "Be Tyler Posey."

"No," says Dylan, recovering. "No, you say, hey want to go out sometime. You don't just--start without telling anyone! Especially the guy you're dating!"

"I don't date! I don't know how it works," says Posey. "But I figured you'd freak out if I just started humping your leg or whatever."

"Why would I--" he starts, and huffs. "Okay. You want to date me?"

"Yeah, duh."

"Okay, great. We're now dating. Awesome." He crosses the room and sits down in Posey's lap. "I really want to get laid. Like, a lot. I don't know how to make that happen."

Posey slides his hands up under the back of Dylan's shirt and pulls it off, and then leans up to kiss him, long and dirty. By the time he pulls back Dylan is panting and his dick is straining so hard against his jeans he's surprised his fly doesn't break open. "This is pretty much how you make that happen," says Posey, pulling down Dylan's fly. "Get those off," he says, and Dylan scrambles out of his lap to get rid of his jeans and boxers.

"Aren't you gonna--" Dylan starts, but before he can object to Posey being not naked, he slides his hands up, settling on Dylan's hips, and leans forward, and before Dylan has quite caught up, Posey's sucking his dick. "Oh my fucking god," says Dylan, eyes sliding shut as Posey starts doing this fucking magical shit with his tongue, and he should date people who have had all the sex _forever_ because this is amazing. "Dude am I gonna--fuck," Dylan gasps, accidentally thrusting in deeper. Posey doesn't even skip a beat, just takes it, and Dylan is going to come so fast. "Do I need this for later? Like, my dick? Because, fuck, I am going to--dude, seriously, do you want me to be able to stand?"

Posey pulls off, grinning. "Nah, I was planning to have my way with you on the bed."

Which, after the blowjob, is enough to make Dylan shoot his load all over Posey's face.

Posey, the asshole, just _licks his fucking lips_ , and Dylan's dick gives this feeble little twitch even though he's pretty sure he's never going to be able to come again. "Jesus christ," he breathes. Posey gets up and pulls him toward the bed, and Dylan collapses on his back. "You can definitely just have your way with me," he says, stretching out. "I haven't really done this gay sex thing before, but you clearly know what you're doing, so just--" he waves his hand. "Go for it."

Posey snorts and pulls of his shirt. It's not like Dylan's never seen him getting undressed before--really, _Teen Wolf_ could easily be renamed "everyone but Dylan gets shirtless"--but it's different when he's doing it just for Dylan, because they're totally going to have sex. "You want me to fuck you?" he asks, and Dylan groans.

"Is that an option?" he says. "Because yes, obviously, please." Posey looks almost shy as he gets his own jeans off, and Dylan misses what he says staring at his dick, which is thick and hard and makes his fucking mouth water. "Sorry, what?" he asks, shaking his head.

"I said I haven't done this before," Posey says.

"But--you've done everything," Dylan says, slack-jawed.

"I haven't done everything." He sounds almost hurt, and Dylan pushes himself up, confused. This is not a serious discussion time, this is a naked making out time.

"Dude, I don't fucking care," he says. "Like--what you've done and what you haven't done and--it's all cool, okay? Just get over here and make out with me some more. You don't have to fuck me, I don't give a shit. There is literally nothing that can happen at this point that will not be awesome, other than you not being on this bed."

Posey laughs, climbing on top of Dylan for a long kiss. Dylan pulls him closer, slides his hand down to wrap his fingers around Posey's dick.

"Uh," says Posey, looking surprised. "If you do that we can't--"

"So?" says Dylan, jerking Posey off slow and easy. "It's our first date, bro. You can fuck me next time."

"Or you could fuck me," says Posey, letting out a little whimper in the back of his throat when Dylan tightens his grip.

"Dating. We'll have time to try all the positions."

"There are a lot of positions."

"And we'll have time to try them all," Dylan promises, and when Posey kisses him again, he figures that's a yes.


End file.
